Life and Alcohol

After managing 7 days AF two weeks ago I have fell on and off the wagon since then so day 1 again for me today. I do wonder if I’m turning to drink as I feel a bit of a failure in some aspects of my life, mainly work. I achieved a 2:1 degree (many moons ago) but then have jumped from mediocre job to job with wages to match. I’m lucky to have a loving husband and two children (who are my greatest achievements) but I feel a failure as I am not some high flying earner and am now coming up to 45. I feel this feeling is the cause of my unhappiness and why I reach for the wine. Until I can feel better about myself and what I have achieved I do not think I will see the wine witch gone.

Time out

Day 8 and 9 (Friday and Saturday nights)
A bottle of red wine split over two nights has brought my sober day count to an end. On a positive note one bottle of red wine in a week is better than nearly a whole bottle per night as long as it isn’t a slippery slope back to drinking more often. Back to day one tomorrow.

First week sober

Day 7
I’ve reached what I consider my first milestone, a whole week gone with no alcohol. A few successes to be had - night out with friends and didn’t drink but still had a fantastic time. I’ve had some good nights sleep (apart from last night where I had a weird nightmare) and woken up refreshed every morning. Possibly the only down side is that I thought I would also have weight falling off me but I have not budged a pound. When I think of all the calories that was in the wine I drank I thought it would show itself but maybe it takes longer. Here’s to the next week.

The Triggers

Day 4 

I am doing well with being AF especially as today I spotted one of my triggers that usually has me reaching for the glass (bottle!). 

It was back to work today following the relaxing Easter break. Work is hectic and stressful at the moment and I’ve concluded this was why I was drinking pretty much every night. Nothing has changed (unless you count my mindset) but I am trying not to let it get on top of me. 

Work is not the be all and end all and I have lots to be thankful for, a loving husband and two amazing children and great friends and family. I need to continue to focus on the positives and then I will be able to continue on this journey.

Sobriety rules!

Day 3
Feeling strong. Managed a Friday night at home without a drink and a Saturday night out for a meal with friends with no alcohol. Was feeling nervous before I went but offered to drive to avoid temptation. Had a really enjoyable time and drank mocktails to help me still feel like a grown up. Was good to have interesting conversations without sounding slurred by end of evening and the plus was waking up feeling good on Sunday morning. Long may it continue!

Sober Time

Day 1

After reading the Sober Diaries and having realised for some time that I do drink in excess (less than a bottle a night but EVERY night) I need to bite the bullet and change my life for the better.

My husband has been hounding me for years to cut down on my drinking (he doesn’t drink himself) to the point where we have had arguments about it. Him telling me that he’s concerned for my health, showing me articles about drinking cuts years from your life, cancer risks, liver decease etc. And my response usually telling him not to go on at me.

I have realised that no one other than me can decide that it’s time to make a change and I am hoping that today will be it.

I do want to do it for health reasons (2 stone overweight and to ward off any potential illnesses), for my family and husband but most of all I want to do it for myself.